Not That Close of an Encounter

 Teluk Kemang Beach, Port Dickson, Malaysia.

Have you ever been to this place?

It's a very beautiful sandy beach with wide blue ocean.
I love the ocean...

The vast open sky looked bewitchingly far away.

Tickly sand softly brushed against my bare feet.

I went there with my close friends. Our last year together as university students. Despite last minute planning, we were able to make it. I had the opportunity to ride on the 'banana boat'. Even though I wished the boat was faster, it was thrilling to be in the middle of the ocean.

 

While closing into the seashore, the banana boat swerved. We went flying in the air and Geronimo'd into the water.

Being a girl, I screamed with joy.

It was all part of the 'buy one free one' package.

Yet, we were thrown a bit too far.

Oh, did I mentioned that I didn't know how to swim?

Since I had my life jacket on, not having fish gills wasn't a problem. That is until I felt someone grab my back, dragging me down into the water. Pushing myself up, I saw that the person hugging me from behind was my room mate, Sarah.

"My life jacket's opened! I can't clip the belt ...!".

She was crying her eyes out and I tried to calm her down.

Panicked, she struggled to stay afloat by hopping on my back like a big baby koala holding on for dear life.

Not able to feel the ground, I felt tense.

"Let's grab the banana boat, they'll carry us ashore", I told her.
Like a fish floating in the sea, we held on to the boat.

As we were floating farther away, the ocean seemed so empty and big.

Wanting to swallow us up.

 

I looked at Sarah's crying face and felt hopeless.

I stared into the sky...

Am I going to DIE?!

 

Drowned in the ocean right after riding on the BANANA BOAT???

Such a terrible joke. . .

 

Then, I heard somebody calling my name.

"What are you guys doing? You can let go now".

It was another friend of mine. She looked as if she wanted to laugh but stopped after seeing my white pale face. No longer crying, Sarah gingerly stood on her feet. Doing the same, I felt my feet touch the seabed. For a few minutes, I tried to make sense of the situation. During all the time we were floating with our feet up on the surface which seemed like forever, we didn't realize that we were already ashore, dragged along by the banana boat.

 

 

I was so GLAD... And MAD at the same time.

Not because of Sarah's carelessness but the fact that I couldn't do ANYTHING.

To save her and myself.

The hopelessness that I felt... engraved deeply in my inner conscious mind.

 

I chased after Sarah to give her a piece of my mind.

 

"Sarah, YOU IDIOT. Don't go panicking like that EVER AGAIN!".
"I seriously thought we were going to DIE!"
"It wasn't MY FAULT>... It was the JACKET'S!"
"Really? You're actually BLAMING THE JACKET?? Next time FREAKING CHECK IT!"

Laughing like crazy, Sarah ran and ran.
I gave up and went on to the next activity.
The super fast viper boat. "Not for the faint hearted".
Why not, I thought. But this time, NOT WITH SARAH...

My Days of Driving – Part 2

Can you see that piece of cello tape?

Cello tape??

 

There. (Pointing).

 

I don’t see any. (Confused, my eyes were frantically looking outside the car).

 

Right there! Honestly!
Where are you putting your eyes at ??
(Furiously pointing at the window).

(Intimidated. Come on eyes! Cello tape! Fast!). Oh, THAT Cello tape. Sticking at the window? I thought you were pointing outside.

Anyways, when you reversed the car, stop as soon as the first parking sign pole is somewhere within the same line as the cello tape.

 

Okay… (Ears ringing).
 

 

 

That was the starting of my first parking lesson.

 

At the first sign of idiocy, my teacher was quick to snap. With crushed enthusiasm, I couldn’t grasp how the wheel works when reversing. Should the wheel go right or left? Constantly questioning myself, I made more mistakes that I intended. My teacher, instead of being a figure of encouragement, effortlessly emitted sounds that I interpreted as pure annoyance.

 

Panic, scared and irritated, learning was anything but easy. Focusing was harder. Suddenly, my brain was a separate entity from my body. Forget the trauma of solving mathematical Pythagoras Theorem, THIS was by far a lot worst.

 

 

Assuming that I was making my own rules, she concluded the lesson after a mere 15 minutes.

Before, I waited half an hour because someone else was late. It even took me half an hour just to get here. Now, I got a lame 15 minutes parking lesson?? Unbelievable!

Unfastening the seat belt, I took a long deep breath. I was determined to give her a piece of my mind. Or rather, I felt like screaming at the top of my lung.

Then, just before I allowed myself being possessed by the devil, at the spur of the moment, another student came up. Giving me the confused look of ‘What’s taking you so long?’, my heart gave out. All is lost but honour. Barnicles!
 

 

 

 

~ To be angry is easy. But to be angry with the right person, to the right degree, at the right time, for the right purpose and in the right way… that is not easy. ~

(Aristotle)





Truly Madly Single



‘Don’t worry so much. You’ll get married eventually.’ I remembered saying those comforting words to a dear friend of mine. Being only a year older than me,  I was puzzled cos unlike her, I wasn’t having those I’m-getting-old-and-should-be-married-soon thoughts in my head. Perhaps I was missing some important female hormones?

 

I’m perfectly aware that at some point of my life, I should grab the nicest guy available, settle down and produce a baseball team of miniature me and my husband. Since they always say that the right guy will come along at the right moment, the marriage-thinking was safely stored in the temporal lobe of my brain. Well, not until recently when my mom started giving me the it’s-about-time-to-get-married-and-produce-a-rightful-heir-to-the-throne speech. At that point of time, I knew I'd better start practicing the penguin’s dance of seduction.

 

So, just to relax my mind, I opened my Facebook account. Maybe somewhere someone was feeling as miserable as I am. Rather the contrary, I was notified on several invitations to attend friend’s wedding ceremonies, photos of honeymoon pictures, first born and loving couple posts. I was made to realize that while my friends are all busy ‘pluralizing’ themself, I’m left in the state of singular comatose. Thus begin my days of worrying like an old spinster in their 80s.

At the office, while pretending to be immensely busy, I started scanning for eligible bachelor. Being in the accounting work field, the guys are the perfect resemblance of either John Nash or Forest Gump. I guess in my case, there’s little chance I’ll get hooked up with Keanu Reeves. Not being a hottie myself, I know beggars can’t be choosers. But every girl can dream right? I remembered going back home with a strained back and a defeated heart.

 

The fact that I was 25 and single never bothered me before but now like an itch that can’t be scratch, it left me insomniac for weeks. I felt like Hunchback of Notre Dame's twin sister and I was drowning in my own self-blaming world. Still, fortunately, being a creature that take things lightly, I wasn’t depressed enough to the point of suicidal. So, after days of self motivation and drop-the-subject face I gave my mom, I was back on my feet again.

 

Then, like any typical movie, there came along a guy. (Let’s call him Justin Bieber since he was younger). So, Justin was cute in his own way and have a charming smile. Seated just behind my enormously small cubicle, we chatted between breaks and get along just fine. On weekends, he’d sms me and I’d sms him back. All the formalities of being in the friendship zone. This went for as long as 6 months until one fine day, Justin asked me out. As happy as I should be because FINALLY SOMEONE ASK ME OUT, unlike Selena Gomez, I didn’t say yes. Porque? It was the matter of the heart. I couldn’t say yes when my heart was saying no.

 

Unable to find the coach for my baseball team, I’m back to square one. I come into terms that finding my star crossed Keanu Reeves hangs on a thicker string called destiny. Serendipity movie is a good example! Being single doesn’t mean that you’re leftovers that nobody wants. Even if you feel like it, leftovers are just as good. Heat them up and they'd still taste great. Beside, guys who doesn’t waste and eat leftovers? That's priceless.

~ Whatever you are, Be a good one~
(Abraham Lincoln)
 

My Days of Driving

Last time I checked. cars are a luxury. Nowadays, it's like having an i-phone. Unless you're Adam Lerner in 50/50 with a brain tumor and friends/girlfriend as your chauffeur, not knowing to drive one is a huge NO NO.

I'd always find driving as rather unsettling. Behind the wheels, most people somehow hulked into an extra crispy Michael Schumacher. Everyones on the rush. There's a chance you might end up being road kill or splattered lasagna.

So, recently, I decided to take my driving licence. BIG DEAL right? So, I thought.

My first driving lesson was nothing unusual. It was a new experience. Yet, it wasn't impossible. Yeah, I can do this....

1. Fasten your seat belt.

2. Check the mirrors, adjust your seat position.

3. Start the engine.

4. Press the clutch.

5. Jab in the first gear.

6. Release the hand brake.

7. Release the clutch slowly

8. Step on the accelerator.

Magically, the car started to move and..there I was. Driving. For the first time.Eventhough I drove like a fat snake without direction, but yes, I did it!

Sheeessh. It wasn't as hard as I thought.

My second driving lesson however requires me to drive on the road.

Being quite the mice, I was unsure of myself . The word Splattered Lasagna kept playing in my mind. Still, I stepped on the accelerator,  like a fat snake towards the road. Quite a few times , the engine shuts down as I released the clutch too fast. So, there I was, making my own private traffic congestion. Instead of making u-turns, I'd make w-turns and went to the other road (It was reflexes!). That irritated my teacher and I got a good scolding since I caused her to be late for the next student. I really felt like throwing up.

Arriving home, my dad asked, "How was it?

"Piece of cake Dad."

(Me, sucking it up....uwaaa)

~ The thing I don't want to learn is a lesson ~ Homer (Simpson)